Are you saying that you would rather I have died?” And she said, "Yes, I would prefer that you had died then to choose to leave."
How cruel of a parent to say such a thing. - It's the misguided belief that staying with the 'religion' equals doing 'Jehovah's will', and that you will not be resurrected to life in a 'new world' once you are on the outside.
Rather, die inside that belief system and get a second chance by miraculous resurrection.